Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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