We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
