Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
