I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
