she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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