He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
