my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
