I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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