I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
