Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
