"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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