Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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