Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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