I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
