Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
they're like a gay fantastic four
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
