you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
