i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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