I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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