VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize