After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
