Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
