god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
