: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
