Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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