its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
