whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
