So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I could fuck to npr.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
