Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
