Can i not drive my cunt home
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize