is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize