ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
