barbara walters just said penis...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
