I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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