Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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