like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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