Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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