so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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