so that wasnt chicken after all
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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