Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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