FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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