so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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