somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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