i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
