I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We have so much sex to catch up on
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize