Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
