Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
