Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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