I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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