you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize