love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am midnight drunk by noon
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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