Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my sisters under your porch take her home
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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