Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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