okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
