I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
