cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
