careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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