What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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