she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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