you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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