the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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